Dypraxia is-  a developmental disorder of the brain in childhood causing difficulty in activities requiring coordination and movement.

As a child I have always struggled with my balance, co-ordination and emotions. I have had these struggles all my life and still do to this day. But as a result to being somewhat “different” to all the other kids at school, I was frequently bullied. I would spend day after day hating myself and thinking “what have i possibly done to be treated this way?” Even with being bullied I also considered self harm. It was the not knowing of why i was treated so poorly and how I was the way I was. One night I couldn’t sleep. I was up all night overthinking but this time I had had enough, I went through to my mother’s bedroom and asked her what was wrong with me, she was obviously confused to why I was asking this but after a few minutes she told me that I had dyspraxia. I had not a clue what it was and why my mum hid it from me for such a long time (I was 16 when i asked her what was wrong with me) It wasn’t until recently after some research, all of the thing that made me so “different” finally made sense.

When I was very young, probably even under 5 years old. My mum had enrolled me in weekly ballet lessons, and within the first week that is when the teacher told my mum that I had dyspraxia, I know she is not a doctor or anything but all the things that she has commented on were related to childhood dyspraxia. I struggled following what the teacher had instructed and my rhythm and co- ordination was very behind, so the teacher played some music and let me get on with my own thing. I know I seemed pretty happy with it at the time, but now looking at it, I thought it was very harsh, I was treated differently to the other children. I now remember that in Primary and High School, my co-ordination was pretty bad, I would constantly trip over my own feet and struggle with direction. In terms of my emotional and behavioral side, I would be easily distracted and tended to day dream. I also hated being in big crowds, I would just feel very uncomfortable and distressed in them, I also tended to get very stressed and anxious easily and tend to not take part in difficult tasks. I guess because I didn’t know how to act in these situations, I would cry as a defense mechanism but this just led to more bullying, high school was the worst for it. If i was asked a question, it would take me so long to answer it, with dyspraxia; One thing can go in the brain and it would take a while for the person to process things and try to come up with a suitable or correct solution or answer, I also tend to stutter and struggle pronouncing words. I try not to let these things affect my day to day life. 

I don’t know the direct cause of my dyspraxia but after doing some research i have found that being born prematurely is a cause and I was in fact born 3 months early. I am now 22 and have a job as a carer. I try not to let these things affect my life. Although I left school because of the constant bullying and I have made some amazing and loyal friends, they support me in all my struggles and have made me feel like a better person, I just want to go on everyday loving life and helping other people.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, “The dyspraxia foundation” and “NHS choices” helped me understand dyspraxia better. Much love to all the readers!